Having illusion and upset. I can't do it any more. I feel like killing my self.
I know when I ask are you with her? You will answer me is that a problem? We not together anymore and I told you my decision many times. Is you complicated thing.
Yes, I'm aware. I'm the one can't accept it. It effect me so much.
When and how can I end all this? Should I really go for wait and initiate? Some might say is not worth it. You deserve better. Some might say love your self before you love others. How could I do that when I seeing my love is loving others and I can do nothing about it.
I love you more than any thing else. I make a mistake but why you not willing to let me prove I can do better? I know I give up the chance but I'm here, why you leave? You promised you won't any more. Might be me misunderstood that you mean if I be with you at that time.
I thought I have to pushed you even more further to get rid of the feeling missing and loving you but it got worse. I miss and love you even more.
Every one with bright eyes can see you will not come back any more. I'm the only one still have hopes and waiting for miracles. God won't bless me, because what I did to you last time. I'm in pain, just like hell. Don't know how to do better than this.
Am I too selfish? Never consider how you feels and what you thinking. Always about my self only. Even now, I only concern about my self miserable, never thought of what actually you want for your self or your future. Should be a yes. And I have no clue how to fix it.
Still, love you and I'm here. Thanks for the letter you wrote for my future partner but you will do.
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