Advice

22 July 2015

This very moment I need to get this out. 

Piece of advice for you. Yes, that's you and I know you will be reading this soon enough. 

Might be because of my emotional, I get this straight. 

If you think he possible a good man and you liked the way he is please stop playing hide and seek or play hard to get game. Been sleeping together, acting and spend time like a lover, make it more inferring - he is going after you and loving you. How could that be still answer no after so long? Who you think he is and who you think you are? Dun try to act you not doing all that or being innocent, is in front every faces. I feel bad for him and my self. I got effected so badly which make no sense. 

He likes you a lot and do what he can to be with you. What's the problem with you? I don't care what happen to you previously. If you not ready, don't keep him as your spare part. If the past stop you from falling in love again, please don't. Don't hurt another person. He has feelings and needs love. You both just the same. Like to hide things under the carpet and keep it within your self. Is that fair for some one really concern about you? Never mind. I will never understand that, I'm different category with you both. 

Perfect match. That's what I can describe you both. Similarity level insanely high. No way me and him last time can achieve that. I told him all the time. We will not broke up because of no love. It will be some thing else. Now prove that the fact and reality pop the fairytales dream. 

If by the time you reading time is you both have gone together. Congratulation, all the above is just bullshit. He deserve better. He think you better than me, suits him more that's why you got the chance. Or may be some others reason. You should ask him. I just assuming. I know I'm deserve better too. Just that I haven't found one yet. You deserve better as well, if you think he is better choice or option. I came to a stage realise I'm different with u both. Lifestyle, career, religious, family background, even how we present our self. Different, doesn't mean better. He changed or can say still the same, I changed. How could 2 different person can me together? I'm ok, but he is not. I will find the person I to be single with him. 

You might say or confirm will say some thing like who the shit you are to write or talk or share or concern about my life. What's the decision or how I wan to do is my choice. Entirely up to me what I'm gonna do. Yes bitch, of course you can. Just at least in my own opinion, you using him and make you looks like bitch. Yes, I'm using that word twice. Not because I'm the ex gf, is because I been through what you experience now. And I learnt my lesson from there. Aiya, your kind of people won't understand what I'm try to advice you here. Only can say I'm sharing good vibes, not trying sabotage here. 

Yes, you are lucky. You met a person bloom and ready. Less effort needed to be the last for him. He knows what he should do. The best of him is now, appreciate it. Of course, is up to you is he the one you looking for and want to spend the rest of your life. My thoughts being with him years back simple as I believe he will take care and loving me no matter how. 

Mean words and action hurts those love you the most. Yes, they will understand what's the reason behind, but it still hurts. Is harder to heal the wound, why should create that at the first place. I'm going to hell either way, not like you doing so much good thing for others, to God are going to heaven. 

Good luck and make no regrets. 

Be Real

11 July 2015

我愛你，

不光因為你的樣子，

還因為，

和你在一起時，我的樣子。

我愛你，

不光因為你為我做的事，

還因為，

為了你，我能做成的事。

我愛你，

因為你親手捧出，

我的真實。

我愛你，

因為你穿越我陳腐的心牆，

拂過我的愚鈍與軟弱，

只看見我

因為你無懼辛勞長途跋涉

照亮我藏匿的美好

我愛你

因為你支撐著我的殘破

推動我前行

給我庇護

如同一座聖殿

還有我混沌的每一天

你從未苛責

卻是在我耳邊輕唱

我愛你

因為你給予我的，

超越一切信仰所能觸及；

你讓我幸福的，

這一生的命運都無法饋贈。

你為我做的一切，

無需碰觸，

無需言語，

沒有預兆。

你為我做了一切，

僅僅因為你是你。

或許這才是朋友存在的意義.

Beautiful poem about friendship. Instead, I relate it to you. I miss every thing between us. No matter good or bad. 

Still miss you often enough. 

不想面对，选择逃避。装作无所谓，只想忘记过去的美好和错过。

" Doesn't matter who you relate to, just be real about it. " 

I lost what I used to have, but it open my world to some thing I been overlooked. 

Thanks all dearly friends. I'm grateful to have all of you, never leave me alone. Accompany and support me walk this through. I can't do all this by myself, be more specific, without you all. 

I learnt my lesson, expensive and huge one. But I know, I won't be alone, I owe you all big favour, I can't promise what I can offer in return. Remember, I will always here for you if you need some one. ❤️

Because of you

2 July 2015

July, is here. A month I always get very excite to because is my birthday month. Present, celebration. Every thing make me happy. 

Another mile stone archive. I have found my real core problem why am I still can't move on. You, just icing on the cake. Finally, I drive my self away from you. Yes, I do feel sad when ever I think about you, simple as you are my love of my life. I loved you with all I can, I believe you was the same but thing doesn't turn out great. 

Your future is not related to me any more, either good or bad. I done my best to make you and your life the best and we live that through. As you say, you got nothing to hiding, for me is you chose not to share. That's part of our perspective difference. No matter how, you play a very important role in my life. 

Because of you, effect my choice or decision make me who am I today. 

Because of you, I live my life in a different way, out of my expectation. 

Because of you, I know that I should love my self more. 

Because of you, I got to know I'm too stubborn to change my love one to the one in my imagination. 

Because of you, I learnt every one need love and put my self in their shoe. 

Because of you, i realise there is much more for me to treasure. 

Most important out of all is I know this is not the end. There is so much possibility and opportunities to be explore, develop.

Thanks for being apart of my life, is time to shine and bring my self to whole new level. Shine and tough like a diamond, grace and sweet like a Princess, wise and knowledgeable like a book, nurture and behave like a women. 

I might look back occasionally, that's just being me. I'm might not strong enough and being emotional, that's just being me. I'm might not smart or wise enough to, that's the chances I can continue learnt and grow. 

The objective is: To be with some one better, first you need to be a better person. 

I'm who I'm. Just get better and better.