May 26, 2014
"Is there any reason for me to smile every day when I look at a desperate girl like you that realize you already loose every thing but you still makes that nothing happen and make me feel annoyed by seeing you everyday."
This is what I got while I done nothing wrong and some random girl just broke in to my life. Making a mess and claim as winner.
How funny it is and I won't regret that I lose some one like you.
I think this is the best place to talk to. Message won't delivered and no one will reply it.
Why there is some one in this world willing to get them self involve in some one relationship? And the worse thing of all is the partner refuse to talk about it and refuse to admit that happening. I know I'm idiot because I kind enough to forgive and accept this weakness. I'm trying my best to let him know and help him to get it fix. Just like what I did last time. I love him with all my heart an now is taken away from me and he call that as shit. Have him every think about me when he know that girl fall for him? Or he just enjoy it so much?
She make her self look like a god and I'm so stupid, expired thing still sticking around.
I act like nothing happen because I strong enough I believe. But the only one I can show my fragile side is him, only him. Not even my family seen that side of me and now he is leaving and putting the blame on me pushing him and make him can't focus on work. I always bring up her name? Why don't you go think about what make us today and who get them self involve. She asked me before what happen before between us before she got involved. There will be same issue, the same thing happen just lucky the girl side decided no to be with you. Beside than that, family issue, place of stay, those are bonus happen at the same time. I can't get along with them? Cause the culture is so different, your role is very important to make things balance. Obviously you didn't know how and only way is me to tolerate. Why all me?
Indeed, I miss you. I keep telling my self there is no point to stay. No matter how he wan to leave.and that girl? Let her be the winner if she can manage. Hope she can support him, blend in his family and no doubt about him. I will be happy. I know I can be generous as well. There is no need to keep fighting and keeping which ever is not belong to me. Not manage to say good bye and hug. But as long as I still have the memories of 1st kiss, 1st hug and 1st night we living together.
You came back for a while. Sitting next to me but nothing to talk about. I wish I can tell you how much I miss you and wan to hug you. But i can't, it doesn't make any thing better. I will just fall more deeper and stuck again. I'm waiting. Still waiting.
Have to thank you being so harsh on me. One of the hard way to make me to leave you. I have nothing to say but take care. You heal my wound once yet create a new wound to let me heal my self. And I'm sorry about Alex. I being straight forward.
The only way to make you reply me will be talk about her already right. I asked nicely but no reply.When I bring up her name, for sure you gonna have a big respond. Don't give me hope if you can't make it. Eventually, the one get hurts is me..
