Smoking

Never like smoking, but why I pick it up and took a sip? At first found it fascinating when such amazing thing how it light up and burn. *I know I'm weirdo*

Found it more amazing when while it burn and take a smoke. Feel the smoke, the taste then the after taste stay around you month and can feel the lungs catch up some different thing. Some time got into the nose kind of annoying. I think that happen to newbie *like me*. Love the smell of tobacco or ciggy before it been light up, just like the coffee scent. The moment got light up, it turn to some thing else. The changes of scent really reflect who you are. You got pushed too hard and lighted up your the other side.

Don't ask me or wonder how I relate all this. Even I don't know, is my heart and instinct feel that way. I just transform them to words. Feelings is overwhelming.

Smoking just like my heart now. I know I'm not suppose to, but can't resist and did it again.

Negative vibes all around, trying to stay positive, but some moment just can't help it. Getting frust with my self. Why I can't make it? Should push my self harder. They having sweet moment just like what you had last time. 5 years, what else you haven't experience before? You had that, live with that. His future don't have you any more.

Can't forget the conversation the road map, keep visualise how sweet and how adore when you both be together. I lost it. I know I'm not suppose to care or bother, just can't help it. 

Down time, lovey moment, all source of happy or bad moment. From nothing, build up till who we are, what we have now. Yes, now no longer on the same path. Why am I still wishing we can cross over our life again? Only found out when you gone, I have love you like a fool.

I'm lost star. I still love you just the same.